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FACE FACTS |
Something you need to face up to ?
Unable to deal with feelings of vulnerability ?
Need help to fill a skill gap ?
If you feel we can help, phone me now on 01386-861841 for an informal chat,
or send us an email request and we will contact you.
It is often the case that things get worse before they get better. Sometimes you have to step up and face reality or accept doubt as normal. When the time is right the moment comes, not through careful planning, management or control, but suddenly finding yourself in the right place at the right time. In other circumstances you are forced to face difficult questions, questions that require you to talk about yourself and reveal what you really think and feel. But are these facts or just the way you choose to see things?
An Ontlogical Coach will listen without judgement, never analysing your problems or delving into your past, just enabling you to have experiences and tell your story to help you discover for yourself what is true for you. This involves seeing 'the truth' as separate from 'the facts'. You are then able to go forward, step-by-step, and do the small things that will count towards your life purpose or your performance goals. Barriers to change emerge when you assess that something is not open to change and therefore not possible - now or in the future. So, to challenge the 'truths' that are perceived as 'facts' can be seen as patronising, even threatening to your identity. Accepting them can be the start for a change process that commits you to make the changes that you were previously unaware of or unwilling to take. But you then know that you have the motivation and resources to change our 'way of being' through an act of will. This takes you beyond our current circumstances and old beliefs. This is called transformational or transcendent change.
I can't change the situation. I cannot make change happen by myself. I don't have the ability to change things. I cannot change other people. I don't see how change is possible. I am prepared to change if others will. I don't see how I can gain from making a change. I think this is just change for change's sake. I cannot see this change happening as it never has before.
The Change Zone releases you to be your best
Life Leadership Coaching takes clients beyond results to new possibilities. When you change your perspective or world view you open up new posibilities in the way you think and act. This is achieved by fostering self-awareness or becoming a more powerful observer of language, mood and body state. Getting into the right mood for change makes all the difference to your chances of success. But you cannot walk away from the 'facts' that may be holding you back. They have to be accepted for you to move on. When you wont accept that a loved one has gone, that you have diabetes or that you cannot work, you are stuck because you cannot see how the future can be anything other that a negative experience. What you assess to be a fact depends on how you interpret what you know, which depends on the predictability of those facts and how you draw conclusions from them. They are often shaped by your assumptions and influenced by your values and beliefs.
Much depends on:
- what you believe can and cannot be changed
- how you relate to the uncertainty in the facts
It is this assessment of what you believe to be open to change and what is uncertain that colours your personal interpretation of what is or is not a fact. If you are not open to change you are "stuck" in your comfort zone. If you are open to change you are "comfortable" being in the "change zone". However, if you cannot face the facts, change is always going to feel imposed. This creates resistance because it's difficult for the mind to accept things that it cannot control or make sense of. Your mood state then determines the actions you take. As Mr Sock observed . .
As you seek to make sense of things you are also influenced by the actions of people in positions of authority (top-down influences) and your assessment of how those around you think and feel (bottom-up influences). Your own perceptions and assumptions shape what you see as meaningful to you (inside-out influences) as well as the situation dominating at the time (outside-in influences). All these dimensions have immense emotional power over how we behave. Your personal power comes from being aware of these influences and how they combine to shape the life you live. We help you become more powerful observer, able to check your thoughts, words and feelings before you act on them.
Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not the end
Often it is your attitudes, moods and emotions that lie at the heart of how you interpret things, and how the distinctions you make influence what you believe to be possible. Your beliefs not only limit what you can do, but also affects the way you think, make choices and experience the ups and downs of life and work. When things that are important to you are no longer working, it may be that you are not being yourself and a wake-up call is needed to get you back on track.
If you feel we can help, phone me now for an informal chat, or send us an email request and we will contact you.
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Phone us today 01386-861841 |
